We held hands as we walked to his place, kissing on a quiet square in Clerkenwell and I felt like a spontaneous 17-year-old …

Well, right up until this morning, when he asked me how I rated the sex so far from one to 10.

Free dating slut friend-26

Would it be impolite to ask him to Snapchat me a gum-shot, so I can be sure he's not a toothless hick?

His main profile pic includes three of his mates (those are almost worse than the sneaky selfies because you don't know if you've pulled an alpha male or his loser friend) but we have a mutual acquaintance who assures me he's a "safe bloke". He's exactly the sort of 20-something that Tinder or Ok Cupid would welcome: hip, active on social media, possibly polygamous (a cheat), but authentic and upfront about it.

I keep coming back for more cheap, mindless thrills throughout the day. Online, I simply opt-in to a flirt, and if I don't respond no one gets hurt. Thursday I'm headed to Yorkshire to visit a friend for the evening and take the opportunity to spin the Tinder wheel.

It seems northern men are better at smalltalk and far more fond of vests.

After ten minutes of contemplating if this is the Universe's way of telling me that I‘m not compatible with any men (Mum's been saying it for years), I realign my social-media gender.

I promptly get trigger-happy and tick "yes" to a local lad who “likes” me too. Maybe I'm being a tad picky for someone using a free hookup app?

Tinder isn't a dating app, it's the Yellow Pages for ego-boosting one-night-stands.

Sunday It's autumn, I think to myself, which means a whole new influx of American Ph D student suitors moving into my Tinder radius.

Oh, the immediate gratification of having eight suitors when I woke up this morning!

Didn't reply to any, but it's nice to know they're out there. This is London, it's normal to have never met my neighbours, but is it normal that I might be dating them online?

Just think of all the money I'll save on dinner dates now I can skip straight to the unfulfilling sex ...