Dating after coming out of the closet
I picture a stout administrator rising up over the sea of teenagers flooding through the door, yelling “All you gays line up here, lesbians in the next lane over, straights, you’re there…” she would gesture to an area in front of a neighboring table as her voice trailed off. I know because he talked to me about his attraction to men, confided that he understood living this life is a challenging road, commiserated about mutual fears and rumors often spread about the gay community. I needed to know, no matter what, no matter how many times we had to talk about it, he would be okay.
I shivered on the bed as hot tears came to my eyes and thought, “What the hell do I do now? He had been a boy exhibiting the usual boyness, I never noticed anything alerting me to his gayness, except once.
” The sense of wanting to protect him, an emotion I can now pinpoint, but couldn’t then, overtook me. We used to go furniture shopping and get cookies and milk in the snack shop.
Have an ongoing conversation Are more choices a good thing?
In high school nowadays, I say, sounding like an old person, everyone identifies with some sort of label regarding their sexuality.
Because there is one thing I do know, being gay is hard.
We’ve all seen the major victories gay people have won over an everyday right like marriage — this was going to be his fight, too.
I fretted about stereotypes, went to bed shaking and woke up feeling wilted and wary. And since the gloves are off I am ashamed to admit, for another flash I worried what people would think of me for raising a gay son.
I needed a group, another parent I could talk to, and I kind of found some support, but not really. I doubted whether I had the strength to wield a sword in his fights, to pick up for him when he got tired as he inevitably would do.
if you wear your heart on your sleeve for all walks of life, for all people, for compassion, for love, for the struggles and fair treatment of others, you better damn well guarantee you live the same message for your kiddo, and make that a double.