ELIZABETH: I think we were able to bond over a shared experience a really poor experience. [PHONE RINGS] STEPHANIE: I called John a bunch of times over the past couple of years actually. STEPHANIE: He never returned any of my calls or emails. And I realized that sites like Ok Cupid and make it super easy for men with yellow fever to target their prey because all you have to do is click on the Asian box in the search engine and then bam, there it is. PJ: There’s like Orthodox Jewish women, it’s a total diversity of options of people. When you go to Asian women it’s mostly women standing in fields.

They were able to help me heal a lot better than a lot of my friends because they knew exactly what I was going through. SUZANNE: We noticed that he had copied and pasted some of the same emails to us. But he has a website with his name and the only thing on the website is a quote that says: “It’s better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for who you’re not.

I’m just, if you met John you would just think he was one of the sweetest guys. STEPHANIE: And, of course, he’s got a girl with him. In their time together though, she’d actually seen John accumulate two cycles of women. But relatively early in our relationship, she asked me this question where she was like, what do the women you normally date look like? That’s why we have to be careful but you’re letting them control your future and I refuse to do it. And that’s when they’ll find out that I have teeth. ALEX: Stephanie Foo is a producer for This American Life.

And then to just suddenly very quickly all of a sudden find out that they’re cheating on you, in real time, that was a lot to take in. She was at his apartment, he wasn’t there, she sent him a text, Hey honey, where are you. PHOEBE: “Oh I’m just watching tv, sitting in our house doing nothing, I have to do homework.” That’s the text message I get while I was sitting on his couch. PHOEBE: And we three of us get in a huge fight and argument about it. In each cycle, he dated up to ten women at once, three to four serious girlfriends, and several casual relationships on the side. I was like, well uh, I don’t know, they can be short or tall. I had no idea, and I think that is is what that question was. ALEX: Reply All is hosted by PJ Vogt and me, Alex Goldman.

The app features the profiles of both male and female users.

You can browse thousands of Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, Chinese, Filipino, and Thai profiles.

STEPHANIE: Suzanne texts John to get the hell back to his apartment, STAT. So while he’s standing outside the door, she makes him take off all of his clothes and strip naked, to prove that he doesn’t have a weapon. So I opened the door and am greeted by a pretty Korean woman. And she looks very angry and she says, who are you? I have been dating John for the past 6 months, and she says her name is Tara and she has been dating John for the past two years. She decides she wants to warn other women John knows, in case he’s secretly dating them too. Each time, one woman would find out, warn the whole group, and the harem would implode. And it was quite shocking and they don’t have to be intelligent, they don’t have to be pretty, they don’t have to be skinny, they don’t have to be anything. Please bleep this out later: they will fuck anything yellow with three holes. We were produced this week by Tim Howard, Sruthi Pinnamaneni, Phia Bennin and edited by Alex Blumberg. Matt Lieber is the free garlic knots with your pizza. Our language advisory is by Matt Farley and his record company Motern Media is celebrating World Motern Day with an 8-hour, 300 song playlist at its website

But when he showed up, she thought, wait, I don’t know anything about who this guy really is. Finally she lets him in, and they have a huge fight. STEPHANIE: At this point, all she knew was that the guy she’d been seeing had been cheating on her with at least four other people. But when she tries to go to his Facebook page, she finds out he’s blocked her. It’s kind of like when a spider meticulously creates its web. ALEX: Coming up after the break how to solve a problem like John. Like look all these girls are really seen as really submissive and just sort of just solely there for your sexual gratification, so like this physical expectation is coupled with this really problematic cultural expectation. Like a huge portion of my messages are from guys going on about my race and my exotic looks and my almond eyes. Special thanks this week to Emma Jacobs and Ashleyanne Krigbaum. And one of the things about doing a show about the internet is that people are often suggesting that you do stories about online dating, and we often choose not to, and then a few weeks ago our friend Stephanie Foo who’s normally a producer at This American Life that was unlike any online dating story that either of us had ever heard. STEPHANIE FOO: So a couple years ago, I interviewed this girl. She lives in San Francisco and she’d met this really cute guy on Ok Cupid.SUZANNE: He just had a way of taking really ordinary little situations and just making them fun and playful and was very thoughtful with like making me breakfast, would hide my favorite snacks in my purse and was just a really sweet, really sweet, loyal person and he was actually one of the best boyfriends I’ve ever had. And he gave her a little shelf for her stuff in his apartment. He even included her in a bunch of his domestic decision-making.These great dating apps all have a focus on Asian culture and Asian users, making them the perfect choice for anyone who loves Asia. Guys from Europe, United States, Canada and Australia can meet single ladies from the Philippines, Thailand, China, South Korea and other Asian countries.These apps can help you find a partner with a Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, or Thai background. No matter what Asian country appeals to you most, these cool dating apps can help you find someone who hails from that region. If you love Asian women, this is the Asian dating app for you.He tells her that she’s the only one he truly loves, that nobody else meant anything to him. And now he was fighting with one of them outside of his apartment. But she remembers the names of a bunch of women she’d seen on his friends list, and she sends a mass-message to all of them saying, watch out. After a storm blows it away, the spider, unfazed, simply begins again. [BREAK ] ALEX: So in the first half of the show ,producer Stephanie Foo was telling the story of a wildly prolific cheater who exclusively targeted Asian women. STEPHANIE: One of the things that struck me reporting this story is that the women that John tricked, they’re all really smart, really successful. STEPHANIE: And it freaked me out, it terrified me as an Asian woman. PJ: That helps me understand and in your case you’re like, “I like girls I can prey on because they’re so easy to prey on.” It’s the associations with it. I mean, I get that not every guy who’s dated an Asian girl is a jerk, right. And then on top of that there are actually all these strangers messaging me, trying to warn me about other guys with yellow fever. A few months ago, a woman I didn’t know saw an innocuous interaction I had with a guy on Twitter. Our theme music is by The Mysterious Breakmaster Cylinder and our ad music is by Build Buildings. And the DVD extras for this episode are available at We’re actually taking next week off to work on a few stories, but we will see you in a couple weeks.