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But what if you’ve now realized you have a sociopath in your life – right now – and want to know how to handle them? 2) listen to your gut and prioritize what it tells you. One lie, one promise broken, one neglected responsibility – it could be a misunderstanding. Three: you are now dealing with a liar, and deceit lies at the heart of a person with no conscience. Because of their risk taking, it’s common for sociopaths to eventually be murdered, die of an overdose, or in an accident.
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Wouldn’t it be nice to recognize a sociopath before they do their damage? Sociopaths can, because they are unhindered by guilt, manipulate their way to the top. They inspire a feeling of familiarity: “I just felt like I’d known her forever! Sociopaths are expert in identifying an easy mark – they can pick out the most trusting, decent person in the room.
But the defining characteristic of a sociopath is a person who has no conscience. An ability to move through life with complete disregard for their actions: no remorse, no capacity for shame, and no guilt. They have magnetism, an affinity for danger, spontaneity. They engage in gaslighting – making you doubt your perceptions of reality.
That’s 4% of the population, or about 12 million Americans. Maybe it was a romantic partner you think back on and describe as evil. All sociopaths violent – some emotionally, and some physically as well. Don’t compete with, or try to outsmart, or psychoanalyze, or even banter with a sociopath. Minimize or eliminate the sociopath from your life. If you find yourself pitying someone who consistently hurts you or other people, chances are close to 100% that you are dealing with a sociopath. Never agree, for any reason, to help conceal the true character of a sociopath.
Sociopaths wreak havoc in people’s lives in quiet ways, too. Have you ever known someone who left you feeling confused, devastated, or chilled – maybe all at once? Sociopathic characteristics include powerful charisma, charm, spontaneity, chronic manipulation, intensity, and risk taking. And when we pity, we are emotionally defenseless, emotionally vulnerable. Just because someone causes you to fear does not mean they are worthy of your respect. 7) Do not participate in intrigue – don’t play the game you’re being invited to play. The best way to protect yourself is to avoid all contact.
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Names you probably think of — real and fiction — when you hear the word “sociopath”. In fact, many researchers believe that 1 in 25 Americans fit the criteria for sociopathy. This book discusses the predictability of violence – great for avoiding sociopaths. Especially around those who claim that by dominating others they are helping a greater good. Know the difference between compliments and flattery. Sociopaths take full advantage of our social reflexes. Know that most of us do, thankfully, posses a conscience, and can love. But here’s another item I’d add to the list, something I’ve been known to say in my sessions with clients: 14) (That’s not a typo. In a nutshell, because of the unrelenting boredom they feel, sociopaths create drama, take massive risks – even, sometimes, kill.