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Casual relationships: This is the one where you, the American woman, think you’re dating this really nice Arab guy and it feels like it’s getting serious. He says all the right things but his actions aren’t matching. He still lives with his mom and dad and he’s almost 30.
This comes from not wanting to ‘bother’ a woman with things that might upset her…
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I get a number of emails from American women asking advice about their Arab men. Some of the men are Arab but born and raised in America. And don’t ask to look through the one you DO know about… You’ll need to tell him where you’re going, with whom, and approximately how long you expect to be gone. 1-9 above still apply and perhaps seem even more frequent. You’re more than likely going to meet male cousins and maybe a brother or two.
Some of the women who write are working in Kuwait and dating a Kuwaiti. And during this time you’re expected to call him (though he’s not going to answer) and send endless text messages. Don’t ask me how, but Arab men are masters at turning things around. it’s ‘disrespectful’ and you’ll be accused of behaving like a man. If he’s not comfortable with your answers he’ll simply drive you himself.
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Some are living in their home country but having an online relationship with an Arab man living in his. If you don’t then he’s going to accuse you of talking to other men during this time. Regardless of what he does and how bad it really is, you’re eventually going to find yourself doing the apologizing.
I wish I had all the answers and could guide everyone off into a land of never ending bliss. Women in the Arab culture are highly respected and taught to respect themselves. Expressing dislike for certain outfits or style of clothing you’re wearing.
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But since that’s not reality I’ve decided to compile a list in hopes of answering some questions. Spends every night away from his home, doesn’t answer his phone, and finally calls at 6am claiming he was at dewaniya all night. Get used to it, you’re always going to be less important than dewaniya. Having intimate relations with you then either disappearing for a few days… Being intimate with a man before marriage is almost unheard of. He believes you should only look good for him, at home, behind closed doors.
So what are some of the biggest cultural differences you should expect to encounter? So a woman who doesn’t abide by this rule is often seen a a woman who has no respect for herself by an Arab man’s standards.
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