In addition to body image issues, women struggle with what is and is not acceptable about being sexual when you are female.To this day there remains the double standard that for men it is permissible to be sexual but for women sexuality represents being immoral and sinful.In addition to issues of performance for the male is the issue of genital size and appearance.

The experience of shame is humiliating and includes feeling a sense of disgust and mortification about the self.

Both men and women experience feelings of shame around sexual issues but for different reasons.

All of these are tests of masculinity for these adolescent men.

Many boys become interested in weight lifting magazines with photos of muscular men whom they wish to emulate as a way of demonstrating their masculine prowess. According to Robert Stoller, a psychoanalyst and researcher on sexual issues and pornography, the role of pornography is to serve as the reverse of life events that occurred during childhood.

This is such a visible aspect of masculinity and is so very obvious that any males who doubt their masculinity struggle with the question of whether their erection is large enough to attract and satisfy women. If he fails to get and maintain an erection he feels less like a real man.

If the male ejaculates before he enters the woman he feels less like a real man and if he ejaculates too soon after entering the woman and thus, deprives the woman of her orgasm, he feels like a failure.

For women, feelings of shame often have to do with body image issues.

Women compare themselves to other women and fear that they are not thin enough, shapely enough, or large breasted enough to fit the stereotypical view of what is defined as a beautiful woman.

For men, shame issues are directly related to sexual performance, and definitions of masculinity. There is just no pretending; He either ejaculates or he does not.