Together or individually you may want to use the following resources to reflect on your relationship and find more effective ways to communicate: Meg Barker’s book Rewriting the Rules (particularly Chapters 6-9) The Couple Connection has forums, resources and a helpline (free) you may want to use individually or together.This may be particularly useful if you are unable to afford therapy or need some assistance in preparing to speak to a therapist about what happened.

Virtual sex chatt-75

More often than not, people did not want to talk on the phone , so I would have to deal with their anger, irritation, and lots of hang ups. After college, I worked for a medical company doing prior authorization for nursing visits and home medical equipment.

Again I was on the phone for long periods of time dealing with disgruntled people — not fun at all !

In such cases additional help through therapy or mediation may be beneficial.

It is also worth remembering that dealing with an affair can take time, not least to find ways to communicate and rebuild trust.

There’s a contradiction here between what happened – something that was intimate and sexual, that you ended in favour of your marriage.

Contrasted with your interpretations of events of being meaningless, not an affair, something you didn’t do and something you’re being unreasonably ‘punished’ for. Is it that the online relationship really didn’t mean anything to you, or was it the case that it was meaningful but you are now seeking to downplay its importance? Do you believe this doesn’t count as an affair because you didn’t have a physical sexual relationship?Following infidelity, couples can struggle to express feelings of regret, rage, shame, guilt and distress while also trying to rebuild their relationship.Some deny, minimise or dismiss to either avoid confrontation, spare their partners feelings, or because they just don’t feel as upset as their partner.If it meant nothing (as you say) what were the circumstances that led to the online relationship developing and why did it continue in secret? It may clarify things further if you tell each other what you would like to have heard but as yet have not been told by the other in regards to this situation.That might be easier to do via letter or email than in person.You knew this was a secret non-monogamous relationship.