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“If you choose to (continue that behavior), you choose to (receive whatever consequence has already been established as a punishment)”.
So, you can say “Walk, please” instead of “No running”. Children are programmed to question, analyze and wonder about situations.
I have spent a good deal of time on articles on the difference between Praise vs. This can sometimes present itself in an argumentative manner, but this is actually a normal part of development.
Choose whether the other person really needs to know about the issue, and if yes, let the child decide who will tell them.
“Do you choose to tell (Mom) what happened, or choose for me to tell her with you there to make sure that I explain it correctly?
This clearly communicates the expectation and the consequence, without a threat.
Parents tend to want control all of the time, and it takes work to allow kids to have freedom to do what they choose.
If a child is coloring the grass purple, it is easy to tell them it must be green.
A kid can sit down on a chair facing the back, and we make them turn around.
It is wasted words to try to express a rule when a child is upset, as they focus on one thing at a time.
Instead, train yourself to say, “You realized that you jumped off the chair and got hurt when you landed on the ground”, rather than, “See, that is what happens when you jump off the chair”.
When I think about all of the phrases, anecdotes, and sayings about the power of the spoken word I am reminded of how I changed my way of communicating with children upon learning Play Therapy principles.